so so much on my mind

i went by your house and didnt see the whip with the black twin stripes on it,
knowing that all i wanted was to see you talk to you and just vent.
i also cant just drive to inglewood and take my cares away,
i definitely cant now but later maybe.
not enough gas to just drive to ventura if i wanted,
get a good rest and just put away my problems or even sleep on them.
nowhere to go no one to really talk to to tell all my problems,
so im here at home all alone.
i called you from work you didnt answer,
and for the one who did you werent even listening.
thats what i need right now someone to listen,
i know that you could change this feeling temperarily but not forever.
i should have done better i shouldnt be here,
but i am and there isnt nothing i can do right now.
but ever though ive failed myself as others have done to me,
moms will never fail me nor will GOD.
because right now it is me against the world,
and imma fight back hard.
taking all my wounds and scares with me,
healing them as i go.
not even a trip to LAX could help me,
it could but the trip and the conversation itself wouldnt be enough to cure me but only sooth me.
but ive been down that road b4,
sittin outside waiting for minutes at a time would only make me made a cause me to get a ticket something i cant afford at this present moment.
but i wish the aftermath of that as b4 were an option for me it would at least help.
but im no longer counting on the shoulder of others to help me out,
imma do me and keep it that we.
contemplating if i go to joes or zaras would help,
umm not sure and even then i dont think that attemp would result in a cure.
ugggghhhh....so many things running through this unsober mind,
hoping thatnright now im not running out of time.
a trip to joes, a drive to ventura, a mob to inglewood, a minute in hawthorne, or a visit to the street cedar,
ima believer of venting so this is my only choice.
so this will be my voice .
since this is all i have at this present time,
and ill just keep all these thoughts on my mind.
shavers, jones, diamond, latin, eason, scott, haris, armijo, and all the rest arent there only williams so know i gots much love for you bru.
and imma keep with what im doing ,
till i get a change in luck.

p.s. again much love for ya d. will i got you whenever if needed.
me and backup you already know (we gunnas lol)